Greek Chorus 101

So yesterday I got this blog off the ground. And it was a heavy lift trust me. I am not a person who suffers from self doubt and indecision usually. Only on days ending in Y when the moon is full.
All kidding aside, I have an extensive internal Greek chorus and included in the line up are two polar opposites. One is Fuckless and she is a fearless badass with a ferocious Aretha Franklin I don’t give a fuck voice. Her counterpart is SelfDoubt who carries around a bottomless bucket of fucks that she flings out onto the mental stage like shark chum. The stage gets nasty when she does this and everyone is in danger of slipping and tripping over the meaty chunks of doubt and insecurity that are strewn everywhere. Every thought becomes a potential slippery slope. These are just two of the players in my internal greek chorus.
Who gets to sing lead depends on who won the backstage fist fight that day. It all starts with the wake up plan of the day. Yesterdays theme was “meh, just do it, what could happen?”

Fuckless says “what could happen just do it for crying out loud.”
SelfDoubt leads with a mean left hook and says “Omg what COULD happen???”
While Fuckless is trying to recover SelfDoubt begins her monologue center stage.
“Well let me tell YOU what. So glad you asked. You could fail that’s what. You could be talking in that crowded elevator NAKED and worse than everyone noticing would be NO one noticing.

You could get hate mail! It would be hateful and mean and tell you you made a million grammatical errors and you’ll never be a successful author.” Awesome intro S.D.
Fuckless, who is trying to recover from the sucker punch, calls out from the floor “But at least hate mail would mean someone was reading it.”
Yeah… there’s the bar I was reaching for.
Meanwhile SelfDoubt is now chanting out her rant, she’s building up steam and Fuckless is still trying to get on the stage but she’s lost a shoe. She’s got a fat lip and she is humming under her breath “it will be fine fine fine, you don’t give a fuck fuck fuck.”
The last 2 fucks are because she forgot to put on pants again and she hurries back off the stage to try and find them where SelfDoubt hid them. Looks like S.D gets a solo today.
Some days are like that. Don’t get me wrong Fuckless is badass. She’s risen from the ranks, she’s got scars and she’s brilliant. Definitely the one who stands out and takes the lead more days than not.
But SelfDoubt is a sneaky relentless bitch who plays dirty and hides Fuckless’s pants so she’ll be late. Again.

SelfDoubt sings harmony very well with Anxiety, and that shitbag almost never leaves the stage. Lately I try to keep her medicated with a can of Xanax brand bug spray but she’s very adaptable.

Anxiety is totally nuts and looks like that twitchy harridan with the shopping cart you cross the street to avoid. Lately she’s been living in a lean-to she built backstage. She’s got fleas AND lice again so she infects ALL the other singers when she comes out and whispers in their ears. Her best friend is FreakOut who thankfully stays home unless Anxiety beats on the door at 2 a.m and says come on, Pats is awake, it’s a ride or die night, lets get some tacos for heartburn and a case of Redbull for some palpitations.
Thankfully today Fuckless is totally recovered and she’s stage manager for today. Today’s theme is “I Am A Writer And Damn It, I’m Getting Out There.